JIMMYLIN [DOT] COM

Some of these puns are total rip-offs!!

• These first episodes are always the worst. And the first 15 minutes are always exactly the same. “Hi I’m _______ (Emily for this season), and I’m here to find true love…which is why I decided to come on a show with a success rate of nearly zero percent.” Although apparently this year, the producers decided to bring aboard Emily’s daughter for full exploitation purposes (lemme guess, episode 6 will be about how some bachelor calls her “baggage” and then ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!)
• Seriously, these are the best batch of dudes they could round up?! Am I watching The Bachelorette or a super-long commercial for Supercuts?
• The Doug guy better not play the “I have a son” card every single time he’s on screen….oops, too late.
• These limo entrances are crazy awkward. Aaron’s line about being a biology teacher but looking to make chemistry with Emily….UGH. Maybe he should just physically get off my screen.
• Here comes Doug! “Hey Emily, nice to meet y….I HAVE A SON I HAVE A SON I HAVE A SON”
• To fulfill this season’s multi-cultural quota, here comes Alessandro the Brazilian dude. To prove his Brazilian-ness, he says something in what I can only assume is Portuguese. Unfortunately, Emily replies to him in a very Spanish-sounding “Gracias.”
• Best entrance? Jef (one f, for those of you keeping track at home) cruising in on his skateboard (and then immediately chucking said skateboard to the streets of North Carolina). He has no chance of winning, but he’s rocking the Bruno Mars hairstyle, so I’m secretly rooting for him to at least make the Top 5.
• Not to be outdone, in comes “Party MC” Stevie, complete with boombox and a bright neon 1MX shirt from Express (I can spot those a mile away, guilty as charged).
• I’m pretty sure I just saw Tony give Emily a clear stripper heel to put on. 
• Oh boy, Travis comes in carrying a ginormous (ostrich?) egg. Well, that means he’s going to last a few episodes cuz there’s no way the producers let him get eliminated without having some dramatic scene with that egg getting totally destroyed.
• Wait…there’s an Alessandro AND an Alejandro? That’s gonna get messy come elimination time (“No no no, not you!”)
• Yay, a helicopter. Whoever it is, you’re immediately going to be hated by EVERYONE. Oh, no big deal, it’s Kalon, which by the way is a greek word for beautiful. UGH. Ladies and gentlemen, this season’s villian.
• Well everyone’s arrived and it’s time to mingle. One of the dudes states he has six kids; hey buddy, I think you signed up for the wrong reality show.
• More Doug time! Did you hear he has a son?!
• Emily has the line of the night: “He’d be hot in a racecar.”
• UGH DOUG GETS THE FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE? Ok, this episode is over for me.

recording session @ bell sound studios

Stuffed animals, literally

“This uuused to be my playgroooound”

Ryan Adams - Lucky Now

Friday jam…..Swims&Belle (Foster The People’s Mark Foster and Isom Innis) remix Lana Del Rey and sprinkle in a little Azealia Banks

Slow Jam The News with Barack Obama: Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Jack White - Love Interruption (from the album Blunderbuss, out today…)

Plantin’ some trees at Tenth Street Elementary School for AEG Service Day